Jeanette Yoffe M.A. M.F.T.
Family and Relationships
Author of Groundbreaking Interventions: Working with Traumatized Children, Teens and Families in Foster Care and Adoption and What s Your Name, Who s Your Daddy? a one woman play about growing up in foster care and adoption available on Amazon and Audible. She has appeared on the OWN and TLC Network, as a Psychotherapist teaching about Adoption in the shows Raising Whitley and Long Lost Family.
Jeanette will explain how 60–70 percent of human communication is non-verbal and how our right brains are always scanning the environment for what's safe and what's not safe emotionally. The study of nonverbal communication started in 1872 with the publication of "The Expressions of the Emotions in Men and Animals" by Charles Darwin. Charles Darwin started to study nonverbal communication as he noticed the interactions between animals and realized they also communicated by gestures and expressions.
She will help us learn how to be an OWL- Observe, Watch and Listen to our children, our partners, and our friends in a more emotionally sensitive way living in this world that often feels unsafe.
FACT: Human faces are able to make more than 10,000 different expressions
Eye Contact: Eyes can indicate interest, attention, and involvement, while failing to make eye contact may be interpreted as disinterested, inattentive, or inability to connect emotionally.
Facial Expressions: Human faces are able to make more than 10,000 different expressions, and each one articulates volumes of information with ease. Smiling, frowning, blinking, and every teenager’s favorite, eye-rolling, are the strongest and most relatable expressions, but even the smallest eyebrow twitch or nostril flare can be read with minimal effort. The most surefire way to establish a connection with a stranger, client, or even long-time acquaintance: Smile! A smile is welcoming, warm, and establishes you as a person who people want to spend time with.
The tone of Voice: A tone of curiosity is important in any relationship because it respects the listener. The right brain listens to tone, is it safe emotionally or unsafe. Speaking in a curious tone influences the other person to listen and be receptive.
Posture: To express friendliness and positivity, maintain an open posture. Stand with your legs hip-distance apart and keep your torso exposed as opposed to cover with your crossed arms. Keep your head raised and relax your facial expression. A closed posture, especially crossed arms across the chest, gives the impression of boredom or hostility.
Hand Gestures: Be careful of pointing and speaking with your hands, which can be distracting. Observe others when they speak and notice their hand gestures which can express how they are feeling emotionally ie. tense, nervous, or angry.
Timing of Response: How fast or slow we react to another person. Be aware of your timing, too fast can appear too aggressive. Slow down and ReSpond- S stands for Slow down. when we reAct - the A stands for aggression.
The intensity of Physical Response: Speaking or moving too intensely physically can show signs of stress and keep you out of relationship i.e. too assertive, too pushy, not being aware of physical boundaries. We all need space emotionally and physically be aware of your intensity and observe, watch and listen to others.
The dance of attachment means taking into account the 7 non-verbal cues for a healthy give and take in any relationship!
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