Speaking Point: I totally get why Jenny McCarthy wants Jim Carey to stay in touch with her son. In my personal experience as a single mom & an Intimacy Expert with clients, I too see the benefit in my ex's staying in touch with my son, so long as there is...
1. clear communication as to the status of the ex (no he's not coming back & yes it's sad that we don't see him much)
2. the reason for break up was void of abuse (regardless of how much my son adores the man, I choose to be honored too)
3. the ex keeps their word with visits (intergrity is paramount, set the kids up to win, not be disappointed)
...if these conditions are met, having the ex visit has contributed to my son's life & the lives of my client's children.
Speaking Point: We have even erected a collage in his room called Great Men with Wise Words. This way I dilute the sorrow of and ex not being around as much by having wise words from his favorite waiter, my friend's husbands, my mentors so that he feels cared for, guided and loved by many great masculine figures in his life.
Speaking Point: Special men have made a lasting impression on my son. While he misses not seeing them as much, having visits brightens his day. What's very powerful is that often these men are the opportunity for him to communicate what's really bothering him to someone other than "mom".
Speaking Point: However, I do not let him know that an ex will be stopping by until they've proven reliable, consistent and committed, otherwise it toys with his heart and is detrimental.
Speaking Point: True Love shared whether for a few months, few years or few decades may different, yet no less valuable to a child's development and sense of self.