Speaking Point: Anderson Cooper recently brought to us a story on his "Ridiculist" of a mom from the UK that gives her 7 year old daughter "vouchers" for plastic surgery.
The self-proclaimed "Human Barbie" who herself has spent over 1 million dollars on plastic surgery believes that these gifts for her daughter are not just appropriate but good parenting.
She apparently is scripting her daughter what she believes is important to be a woman.
You see, this mom, like the moms on the reality tv show, TLC's Toddlers And Tiaras, have set the agenda for their child's life and future, based on their own agenda for their child, regardless of the actual developmental needs of their children.
Very common...unfortunately yes!
Speaking Point: We are outraged at the extreme nature of what these parents expect out of their children.
Speaking Point: Beauty pageants for babies, where parents dress up their child to look like Miss America?
Speaking Point: These parents have set out to create an identity and a journey for their child based on some need they have for their child to be famous or beautiful or a winner. Kids don't get to decide the Family Culture that their parents choose to create.
Speaking Point: These parents decide, by their value systems and own personal issues, what the agenda is for their child, what their identity is going to be and what their actual childhood experience will look like. The problem is that these parents are serious about what they see for their child.
Speaking Point: The Human Barbie mom truly believes that her daughter is best served learning that to be valuable is to look sexy and perfect as a female. The Toddler and Tiara moms dedicate and sacrifice their lives, financial resources and daily experiences to position their children to succeed in the competitive world of Beauty Pageants.
Speaking Point: But let's be honest, there are many many parents doing the very same thing of creating an identity and agenda for their children all across America. Maybe they aren't doing things as extreme or noteworthy as these two visibly disturbing examples. But, children are often set up into lifestyles that their parents believe are good for them whether or not the child has any say at all. Whether it's a little boy playing on 3 select baseball teams with the hopes of being scouted by a college or a professional team, or it's a little girl, who is dancing 5 days a week for a chance to be on Broadway, if the parents have set the agenda, the child is expected to comply.
Speaking Point: You see, parents have lost their way in what the purpose of parenting is all about. We, as parents, were never supposed to have the power to script out the lives and future of our children. Parents are responsible for establishing a safe balanced family culture that allows children to be children and practice their own experience. Parents are responsible to teach, guide, coach and love our children through their own experience.
Speaking Point: We are the coaches and have the skills to get onto the practice field of their life and help them develop the skills to have their own life. But it's their life, their destiny, their journey!
Speaking Point: So, Human Barbie Mom, do what you want to your own body and look the way you want to look. But leave your 7 year old daughter alone and let her be a little girl until she is ready to be a woman. One day soon, she will be a young adult and she will need the good advice of her mentor, her coach, her Mom. She wont be playing with her Barbie Doll anymore. Oh, I'm sorry...you are her Barbie Doll.