Speaking Point: There’s nothing quite as frustrating or as painful as a controlling mom. Her controlling ways can be blatant or subtle. It can be an outright “Over my dead body will you…” or a more water downed version, “Hmmm, you’re not going to wear the other outfit?” Whether in words or deed, blatant or subtle, a controlling mom is anything but enjoyable to be around.
Speaking Point: A controlling mother sends a powerful message to her kids, “I don’t trust you to make to make the right decisions on your own”. By taking over and micromanaging, she is in essence telling her children that they are not capable of managing their lives without her. This creates dependency in them, crippling them from becoming strong individuals.
A controlling mother pushes away her kids. As we get older we don’t want to hang around her, share the details of our lives, or allow her to be part of our visions and dreams. Her intrusiveness causes us to become withholding, avoiding, and even rejecting. Being around her makes us feel small and inadequate.
To know if you have a controlling mom, ask yourself:
· Do you feel generally happy and content around her?
· Are you open and excited when with her?
· Do you feel self-sufficient and self-motivated?
· Are you confident and willing to try new things?
Speaking Point: As challenging as it may be to be around a controlling mom, it’s important to stand up for yourself and speak your truth. With the holidays around the corner, they bring the perfect opportunity to begin this. Gently correcting her or even stopping her when she launches into her “improvement of you” mode, or letting her know how her words effect you, and that you will come to her know when you need her guidance may be good starts.