Speaking Point: I have talked with many kids thru teen talk live and physiatrists about divorce and unfortunately have been there for many friends dealing with divorce. My dad, whose parents are divorced, has always discussed his pain with me and how he and his brothers got thru it.
These are some important tips as a teens to help get through a very sad and tough time.
Speaking Point: Express your feelings: You are mad, sad, and scared. Your parents need to know how you feel. You must communicate this to mom and dad to remain connected to them both during this painful time.
Speaking Point: Talk to your friends: friends can relate. Over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. So talk to friends in the same position and those you can trust who will lend a helping hand. You need to tell them to be supportive and be there for you. And when you are ready to share things with them you hope they will be there for you! Express you need their friendship now more than ever!
Speaking Point: Don't let alcohol or drugs numb the pain. That will only make it worse!
Speaking Point: School: Don't let your grades drop. Try to stay focused. Talking to your teacher about what is going on can really help. They will be there for you and work with you in getting your work completed! A little older, a little wiser: Speak to a mentor, coach, teacher an adult you trust. Don't fuel the fire: Don’t talk badly about your mom to your dad and vice versa!! Your parents both have their side. Try to Remain neutral, you don't want to make your parents angry at each other.
Speaking Point: Get involved in a sport: Even boxing, karate, dance, yoga, exercise, get the stress out of your body. Talk to a doctor if you feel you can't talk to family member or friends. Summer is coming. Get immersed in a book to escape! Read “Nineteen” to know you are not alone and that all kids go through tough times. Get inspired by the book because with a positive, healthy attitude amazing things can happen to you. It’s the way you handle the tough times that makes you appreciate the good ones!!
Speaking Point: Try not to take sides: Understand your parents are in pain too. The whole family is grieving so try not to take sides and you can be a support system for your parents which will help the whole family heal. For those who have siblings, talk to them. You will help each other and learn how to deal with things together, so you don't feel alone. The parent clash: If Parents talk negatively about each other tell them to stop!! You do not want to hear the negative from both of them about each other and tell them “that hurts me, please stop!!!” With dad talk about how dad is doing with mom talk about how she is handling it so the family can work together as two separate yet positive teams to get through how divorce changes the family.
Speaking Point: Charity: Get involved in a local charity. By giving back to people in need, you will forget your pain and you will feel amazing about yourself knowing you are putting others before you!
Speaking Point: A Journal: Write your feelings down. Don't hold it in, express your feelings to your parents in a calm collective way by reading your thoughts to them. Or just keep it for yourself to re-read. Just putting it on paper and going back and reading it will put things in perspective. Especially when you are very angry, write it down and then calmly you will be able to express your feelings if not right away then when you are ready. By talking, writing and keeping yourself busy you will feel you have control when very often a parent breakup causes kids to feel they have no control in their lives.